LilacFree (lilacfree) wrote,
LilacFree
lilacfree

Gazing at my navel

Isn't it strange how when giving a friend advice that you often give the advice you need yourself to take? Or maybe it isn't strange, just sad. I know that I hold onto my problems, that I'm reluctant to give them up. They're familiar, known, even when they make me miserable. But it's a misery I'm used to. Yet in my imagination I conceive of a life lived in joy. When the choice is to keep or to give up misery, anger, fear, despair, and vice, how come I keep choosing to keep these things? How could it be worse? But I still feel fear. And in my indecision I over-analyze and procrastinate, anything to avoid change--which then happens anyway. Today I'm feeling that there's real value in choosing what you want, no matter how impossible. Surely, looking towards that you must find someway to improve your life. Surely?
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